Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
