I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think i peed on brittanys purse
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
