Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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