I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
