just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
