just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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