he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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