I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
