make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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