she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
