In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
