that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
