I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
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just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
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You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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