wrigley field is MILF paradise
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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