In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
