somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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