ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
