sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
