Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
