Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
