i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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