Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
