I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize