My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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