i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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