I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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