I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
