yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
