Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
