the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
