I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
