i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It's official drugs can't kill me
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
