Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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