Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
