when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I cockslap morals
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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