Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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