I can tuck mytits in my pants
he puts the penis in happiness.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
