I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
