I should be sponsored by Trojan
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
