I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
