I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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