Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
