do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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