it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
