this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I want a musical about memes.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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