I can't breathe out the right side of my face
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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