I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
