just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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