haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
