I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
