OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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