Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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