i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
