Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
