I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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