PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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