Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize