If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize