i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
