And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
