We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize